Bye-bye F

On the Friday morning of the 9th of April, I woke up feeling that I must clean the fish tank because I felt like I had postponed it long enough. My Mum had asked me only days earlier if I would allow her helper to clean out the fish tank for me. I politely declined. So when I found out that the duo had plans to go to the city by themselves, I jumped at the chance of a few hours of me time. I had a short list of things that I wished to tackle but the first thing was to clean the fish tank. As I went about setting things up for the job, I noticed that F looked a little weird and when the job was nearly done, I noticed that there was some white stuff on poor F’s eye and parts of its body. It was acting quite erratic but we weren’t alarmed because F had a tendency to swim around like that every now and then. M went online to see if he could find out what that white stuff was. He learnt that there could be some kind of fungi infection going on. After he left for work, I just carried on with my chores while keeping an eye on that poorly looking F. By mid-afternoon, F was becoming lethargic but every few minutes or so, it would attempt to swim as normal.

Without my own set of keys because I had lent them to my Mum and her helper, I was stuck at home and was unable to go to the pet shop for advice. I waited and waited until around 4:30 pm before the duo came home. I explained to them what was going on and left quickly to get to the pet shop fearing that it might close at around 5:00 pm. I won’t whinge about my experience at the pet shop but I did end up buying a bottle of multi-cure. On the way home, I was feeling pretty sure that F wouldn’t survive. I had knots in my tummy just like when I discovered that my Guinea Pig had passed away two years ago. As soon as I got home, I added the medicine according to the instructions and it turned the water inside the tank green. By then, F was quiet, preferring to hide under the big rock. MT (my mum’s helper) said that a change of water can sometimes affect the fish’s behaviour and my Mum suggested that I should add a bit of salt to the water because that’s what MT did whenever she cleaned my dad’s fish tank. I brushed their input aside because I thought I know best.

On the next day, MT went on a bus trip to see the ’12 Apostles” by herself and we took my Mum to Footscray. We have not been to that part of Melbourne for a long, long time. There are now Filipino and African shops at Footscray!
When we got home, poor F was still alive but it was on its side. Every time I pat the glass closest to where it was, it would try to swim. We knew the end was near and we made the decision to move it to a separate fish tank for P’s sake. This wasn’t carried out without any drama. M and I had a disagreement that led to one big argument with my Mum stuck in the middle. We were all tired and stressed out. Before I headed to our room for a nap, I checked up on F one last time and it looked sadder than ever without P by its side. After M and I got up from our naps, F was gone. It must have passed away between 3:30 – 5:00 pm.

Of the two Black Moors, F was the clown. As soon as one of us turned on the light, it would come up to the surface thinking that feeding time had arrived. F knew how to eat from the surface while P prefers to look for leftover flakes that had sunken. P is the quiet one but it would occasionally chase F around and head-butt it. LOL. When F was really sick, P hung around to keep it company. There were instances when P would nudge F a little. I have seen such behaviours in the past. So, they probably do have feelings for each other. F is buried in a flower pot on our balcony. I am looking to plant some flowers in the area above its burial spot but I haven’t decided to plant what yet. It is good to know that it is in that pot.

On the day that my Mum and her helper left Melbourne, I noticed three white dots on P. We replaced 25% of the water plus the required amount of Ager drops, and added about half a teaspoon of salt. M found out from the internet that it is indeed a common practice to add a bit of salt. The dots disappear within a week. Then last week, P acted a little weird all of a sudden. Fearing that it might die too, we replaced 25% of the water again and threw out the plant that we bought the two Black Moors for Christmas 09. It didn’t look very healthy and I think it had something to do with the position of our fish tank. P is almost back to its usual self. There are no dots on it. We are hoping that all is well. We are looking to buy another fish soon.

I have wanted to blog about F for nearly a month but refrained from doing so because I hate to look like a fool for loving my pets. I have been feeling sad about the outcome of this blog as recent as this morning but now as I write this piece, I felt like I don’t give a damn what other people do.

Moving or Staying

Lately I have been thinking about what to do with this blog. M has suggested that I should move my blog over to Wordpress. One thing I like about Wordpress is that I can upload a post that is password protected. It might be possible to do something similar on Blogger but I am not so sure. I will have to explore a bit to see if there is such a function on Blogger. When I started this blog in 2008, it was partially because I needed a space to remember my little Guinea Pig and I still do but I am also increasingly aware that my need to write about my (dead) Guinea Pig makes me look like I have gone cuckoo. So it might be wiser to password protect any post about him. Another idea would be to move everything except the posts on my Guinea Pig over to Wordpress for a fresh start and then turn this blog private in loving memory of my beloved pet.

I am going to take a little break from blogging to think about what I want to do but the first thing I have got to do right now is to take down our decorations for CNY.

Animals Big and Not So Big

It is the 7th of the month again and normally I write a piece starring my beloved Guinea Pig, but this time other animals will take the centre stage (or should that be centre ring?!). I will try to keep it short because I have less than a week to prepare the Pigeon Hole for CNY.

Let’s start with something not so pleasant first. M and I recently read in the paper about a lonely circus elephant named S in country Victoria. The paper dubbed her as the saddest elephant in Australia. This 55 year old is the last of her kind. I don’t think the circus will keep any other elephants after her. She is apparently not performing anymore. Click here to read the article. M reckoned that S should be retired to the zoo at Dubbo like other circus elephants have, but I wonder if she could really live without her familiar human handlers. I read somewhere that when factory farmed pigs (sows) are ‘rescued’ and transferred to a free-range setting, many die due to the sudden change. Maybe there is a way to slowly ease S into a new life at the Dubbo zoo. Meanwhile I hope her owners look after her properly and that the RSPCA will continue to keep an eye on her wherever she goes. I just want to make it clear that I do not condemn her human owners. They had the elephants long before most humans came to accept the idea that animals performing in circuses was cruel. It must be awfully hard for them to decide what is best for S next. Humans have a tendency to take ages to come to terms with their mistakes and may take even longer to figure out an acceptable solution. I am no elephant expert but I know from experience what it is like to never ever see your pet again. If S is retired to a zoo with other elephants, I am sure her owners can strike a deal to visit her often.

Now I wish to air my anger at what happened at the Melbourne Zoo. I am so very angry to learn that a certain person was there when Dokkoon delivered her baby. Is there a shortage of zookeepers at the zoo? Why does that person have to be there? Isn’t it enough that Dokkoon was giving Australia a second baby elephant? I actually thought that this person was transferred to another part of the zoo, like carting zoo poo, but boy was I wrong. Apparently elephants do not forget. So if that is true, imagine being stuck in labour for two days with someone you absolutely loathe.

I can keep on writing about unpleasant things but I won’t. Many hours were spent watching the Flying Trapeze at the City Square in these last two weeks. Unlike last year when I (and another child that sat next to me) was spat at on Australia Day (which happened to be the first day of CNY in 2009), I had a pretty good time of being left alone this year. Two weeks ago, a couple of men and a super beautiful Golden Labrador named Shelley came to sit under the big tree at the City Square. The dog arrived in style. She was riding in her own trailer attached to her owner’s motor bike. People walking past came to pat her and she loved the attention she was getting from so many passersby. Her owner would introduce her to anyone who looked her way and she would put out her paw for a paw/handshake. She probably worked with little children before reincarnating into a dog. LOL. When Shelley approached a yappy West Highland Terrier puppy, she crouched down to his level. It was like she was trying to approach him in a non-threatening way. She was such a friendly dog. Then on Friday evening, another dog turned up at the City Square with its owners. Now, I am still not sure what breed it is but it looked like the ICI Dulux dog (an Old English Sheepdog?!) except that it was brown all over. It was so beautiful and I absolutely loved its paws. Again the owners were happy to let people pat it and in return it absolutely loved the extra attention. One guy even hugged it. It is so nice to have such friendly pet owners that don’t mind sharing their pets with total strangers. Today is the last day for me to enjoy watching the Flying Trapeze for another year. After this the City Square is really quite boring unless you enjoy being approached by religious minorities being persecuted overseas or by people asking for money. I know that I sound insensitive for not liking them but try walking past them almost everyday and you will soon realise how unpleasant it is.

Small Animal, Big Influence

Before I came here, I had many Aussie pen-pals and almost all of them wrote about their collection of pets. After I came here, I began to see on the news how awful ‘my people’ were in the way we would treat animals. From bears forcefully taught to dance with a rope harness through their snouts, to bears held captive in cages for convenient bile extraction, to Orang Utans kept as pets, to Whales getting harpooned for scientific purposes; Asia, a big continent was fast becoming a super bad place in my head. Then in 2003, we bought our beloved Guinea Pig and I began to become more aware of local animal cruelty in the news. Although I have no scientific evidence to prove it, I also began to notice that such cruel incidents tend to happen during school and public holidays. I find it hard to believe that such heartless people live here regardless of whether the person has been imported, born here or is someone who can trace their ancestry back all the way to the first fleet!

One evening, 7-10 days before Christmas, I sat myself in front of the TV but I wasn’t really watching it. I think I was looking at a pattern book trying to decide which patterns I should buy on Boxing Day, when I first heard the sound of elevator music and then the noise of an animal in distress. When I looked up, I saw a pig lying on its side, thrashing about with a metal bar stuck between its jaws. Because I was so disturbed by what I had seen, I only heard snippets of what the narrator said. It went a little bit like this: “Now that you know…” I wondered what it all meant. The ad appeared again the following evening. In fact, it appeared multiple times during the next evening but I have not seen it again since! I just blocked it all out by switching channels. Ironically the ad almost always appeared just before or after an advertisement for Christmas ham. The truth is that I was pretty angry at the organization responsible for this ad at first, as I thought they were ruining my Christmas, but the sight of that pig haunted me over the past two weeks. I remembered something that happened in the 90’s when I read about a foul mouthed VIP (P for Pollie) who was linked to a piggery that kept its pigs in very small pens. I sat in my bed wondering whether the ad had anything to do with the pork industry and wondered why the poor pig was thrashing about like that.

3 days after Christmas, we had to go to the library to drop off some DVDs. While we were there, I went upstairs and found these two books: “How Good Are You?” by Julian Lee and “A Lighter Footprint” by Angela Crocombe. I think I had previously picked up the second book for a quick glance in the past. Anyway what is written in these two books has managed to enlighten me on the horrible practice of factory farming. YES, factory farming is here in Australia too! I am sure there are other countries that are doing the same thing, but I really expect a lot more from Australia. Reading about Factory Farming made me want to puke as it is completely opposite to an article (Pig Birthing Plan by J Owens) that I read in the latest issue of Grass Roots - Australia’s most popular self-sufficiency magazine. This caring Tasmanian’s little farm is almost like a dream! Humans are omnivores even though some choose to be vegetarians but what have these poor animals ever done to humans for them to be treated in such a cruel and brutal way. I am realistic and I am going to openly declare that I can’t ever see myself becoming a full time vegetarian, but we are going to really try to change the way that we buy our meat products. We are now looking to buy organic or biodynamic meats, even though the shocking price tags may force us to eat less meat in future. As I write this, I wonder if Temple Grandin’s ideas have been implemented here in Australia.

It is now 20 months since our beloved Guinea Pig left us. I have written many times about the little things I have learnt from keeping a pet and even though I have always liked animals, it was the experience of keeping our Guinea Pig that has explicitly taught me true empathy for animals. In 2008, we changed the incandescent light bulbs in our pigeon hole to the energy efficient CFLs. This year, we are looking to improve the kinds of food and personal care products that we consume. Already I have changed my soap. Yes, I still use soap bars for my showers. For years after I came to Australia I did use fancy shower gels from the Body Shop because I thought they were trendy but secretly, I have always preferred holding onto a bar of soap. So I reverted back to soap and have always bought Aussie or UK made ones. Then in early December 09, I saw that Safeway now stocks the ECO STORE Goat’s Milk Baby Soap and thought that I should give it a try. I have heard that Goat’s Milk is kind to dry skin. Since it was just under $2 a bar, I bought one to try and I can declare now that I am totally in love with it. Each bar lasts about two weeks. That means that if there are 52 weeks in a year, which is equal to 26 fortnights, I will need roughly 26 bars of ECO STORE Goat’s Milk Baby Soap annually, which equals around $52 a year (except if they suddenly put the price up). The soap is apparently GE Free, New Zealand made and most important of all, the product was never tested on animals, which I hope is applicable to each of the individual ingredients listed to make the soap, and not just the finished product. Do you know that some humans in the cosmetic industry strap little animals down so that they can cruelly test the ingredients used to make cosmetics and personal care products on their eyes?

Not Unusual To Me

This is a page from a picture book that I quite like. It is easy to assume that I am attracted to the Guinea Pig in the photo because it looks quite like our Guinea Pig but it is the text on this page and throughout the book that captivated me. I wish that the author had used ‘she’ instead of ‘he’ when referring to the cats in the book. Then the text, especially the ones printed on this page, would have been spot on about me! LOL

19 months after the passing of a beloved pet, most people would have moved onto the next pet and I should too but we are not planning to keep another little mammal until we move to a bigger home. When we do, we will keep at least two Guinea Pigs at any one time so it will always have a companion by its side at all times.

Oh, I just remember that we have moved onto our next pets. LOL. We do have a pair of Black Moors Goldfish. They behave differently from our precious little Guinea Pig and they are certainly not cuddly like him. Writing about them reminds me that we should also get them a Christmas pressie soon. I will have to make a note about it because it is so easy to forget about them even though I feed them every night and one of them likes to stare at me when I wash dishes.

A Bit of Self Improvement, An Observation & A Timely Change

M was away the night before Melbourne Cup last year. Even though our Guinea Pig died in May 08, I remember I was still struggling to cope and was particularly bad on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays. I was so grief stricken that I had forgotten that our building tends to become very lively on days like the Melbourne Cup Day. People would start partying from the evening before the actual day. Thank goodness for those party animals because without them I would have spent most of the time crying or feeling sad until M came home. This year M was away again for Melbourne Cup Day but I coped alright by keeping myself busy with sewing and watching foreign movies, including a bit of a French one that was way too weird for me. Recovering from the lost of my precious friend is surely a slow process for me. I did shed a tear or two before heading to bed but that had nothing to do with my Guinea Pig even though I miss him still. The issue bugging me is something I wish to blog about this month but am not sure yet.

Here is an observation. On the eve of Melbourne Cup day this year, I was able to hear may be two or three parties going on in the building and it was all quiet just after midnight. I thought that may be people were heading to bed for a good night sleep before the big day. On Melbourne Cup day, the place was peaceful like on Christmas Day! No parties at all. The only noise came from an excited little tot in the pool with her parents and grandpa. The two security officers hired for crowd control purposes were visually bored to bits. LOL. I am not saying that we have rowdy party animals all the time but there were no parties at all. LOL. It was weird. And by 10:30 – 11:00 pm, most people had gone to bed! Where did all the energy go?

M has a new work schedule finally. Although his working hours are slightly longer, the new schedule will work out better for us. The new schedule is to commence in the middle of the month and I have between now and then to work out a new menu and its shopping lists because our shopping days have to change to suit his schedule as well. He has also put his hand up for three grocery shopping trips per fortnight. Although I find his enthusiasm a bit bizarre, I am just going to enjoy and see how long it lasts. Of course I hope that it will last at least till the middle of Autumn. Doing three grocery shopping trips per fortnight with M means that I only have to do one top-up trip on my own or none at all during that period. Wow. I really like that.

The Vegetarian Guru

I was considered to be a fussy eater when I was growing up. I didn’t like vegetables and would stubbornly refuse to eat them when I was little. My mum and my carers probably didn’t know that little kids need to try something new multiple times before they come to accept it. The way they used to make me eat my greens was through threats and put-downs. The put-downs only made me angrier and more rebellious. When I started working with children (yonks ago), I was surprised to see so many good eaters. There was a little boy named Daniel who would always come to class with carrot and celery sticks tucked inside his lunchbox amongst the sandwich and a drink. Occasionally, there was also a slice of homemade carrot/banana cake wrapped in plastic. His teachers used to make sarcastic comments because Daniel didn’t get a (store bought) treat everyday like the other children. They were so mean. If I ever have children, I would really like them to eat up their vegetables like this Daniel.

After I came to Australia, my views on vegetables started to slowly change. I love how our food was prepared at boarding school. The kitchen staff rolled out vegetables to my liking. The head chef was an import from Ireland! He was a first of his kind to be imported apparently! But when I started to live independently later, I quickly learned that vegetables do not last forever in the fridge and because I didn’t enjoy cooking back then, I was back to eating only minimal amounts of vegetables again. Looking back, I find it really quite shocking how unhealthy my diet used to be!

In 2003, I decided to buy myself a Guinea Pig for my birthday. It was partly a selfish decision because I had wanted someone other than M to love me. Our Guinea Pig sure loved us and he displayed his love the loudest when mealtimes came around daily. He would squeak and squeak at 5:00 pm or 6:00 pm when we had to move the clock forward at this time of the year. We bought small amounts of different vegetables to give to this furry little vegetarian with a big appetite. One of his vets suggested that we should not limit him to just boring carrots and lettuce leaves. In fact, too much lettuce leaves could upset his stomach.

A few weeks after Safeway opened its doors at QV, I was there for a grocery top up without M. The dude who served me casually asked me the name of the variety of cucumbers I was purchasing. Nowadays, I would tell you that they were Lebanese Cucumbers but back then, I wasn’t quite sure. After telling him that I wasn’t sure, he looked at me deliberately so I would give him some kind of eye contact and then asked in disbelief, “You don’t know what you are buying?” It was so embarrassing. Soon after that experience, I began to take an active interest in the vegetables we buy our Guinea Pig. I also began to cook regularly and since we were already buying vegetables for the Guinea Pig, we might as well buy more for us, the humans to enjoy as well. Gradually, we began to eat more and more vegetables under the influence of the furry vegetarian Guru.

Today, 17 months after the Guru had left us, the good habit formed is here to stay and we are eating more vegetables with our meals than ever. Sometimes I wonder why I didn’t like them when I was a child. Eggplants, capsicums, zucchinis, Roma tomatoes and cucumbers are just so delicious. Celery sticks are great too.

Lost and Found

Way back in July when I was cleaning out the fish tank, I misplaced a photo of our Guinea Pig. This was one of the first photos I took of our Guinea Pig when we first bought the digital camera and we printed it out with our old printer. After rediscovering it before Christmas last year, I had placed it along with other mementos next to the fish tank. A day or two after cleaning the fish tank in July, I suddenly realised that the photo was not where it should have been. I looked everywhere for it. I even looked inside the bins thinking that it might have been accidentally thrown out. M also got blamed along the way. I felt quite sad but at the same time I also felt that I had placed it somewhere safe for some reason.

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I took a break from all the cleaning on Saturday (05/09) to flip through one of the Montessori manuals to check out one of the basic grammar activities for introducing Verbs using a farm setting. Instead of pulling out my box of Schleich animals to see what examples of phrases I could use, I went to look for the catalogue instead. The plastic drawer where I had placed the Schleich catalogue was quite full and I had to move things around to look for it. I can’t remember what item I had moved when I saw a familiar face staring back at me. It was my Guinea Pig! It was the photo that I had been looking high and low for. LOL. The photo was indeed stored away safely in this drawer. After studying the Montessori manual a little, I came back to the drawer to double check and see if the photo was indeed there and it was. It is now placed temporarily next to the pouch holding his urn.

Sad Memories and then a Sweet Dream

Winter is almost gone! I have been kept so busy all Winter this year that I have almost ‘forgotten’ to feel sad. I have been experiencing gloomy Winters since 2006 and last year was particularly bad because my Guinea Pig died and I was grieving. Winter 2009 has been only short in my opinion. It was only cold and grey for a month and a half. We have been experiencing more Spring-like days in the last week or two. The days are slightly longer, the temperature is slightly higher for at least part of the day and what I love most is when the sky is blue for at least a few hours. Spring is now my happiest season.

I woke up at 4:00 am on Sunday morning feeling a bit sad. I stayed in bed and stared at my Guinea Pig’s photo. This is the same photo of him as the one featured in this blog except that this is a framed black and white version. The photo used to sit next to the fish tank in the living area but because we have moved the fish tank over to the dining area, I had moved it into our bedroom last Friday. Both M and I love this photo of our Guinea Pig but for some weird reasons, it got me thinking about his final hours. Tears started to roll and I began to feel like my tummy was upside down, but the feeling wasn’t as intense as it used to get. It took me nearly two hours of thinking about other things before I went back to bed. When I did eventually get out of bed, I still felt a little sad about my Guinea Pig.

On Monday morning, my sleep was disturbed again when I woke up around 3:30 am. This time I wasn’t feeling sad because I woke up from a pleasant dream. The photo that I mentioned before sits near our bedroom door. In the dream, the area near the entrance to our bedroom had turned into our Guinea Pig’s new home! His cage sat on top of a special metal trolley and I was placing fresh hay into the cage. My Guinea Pig burrowed in and out of the hay. He seemed very happy. I think I went to the kitchen to get a drink and was back in slumber land within minutes.

M came home with the latest catalogue for IKEA yesterday. I can’t wait to look into it. I want to buy a new lampshade for the lamp placed next to my Guinea Pig’s ‘ashes’. I am going to re-organize the things on top of my new chest of drawers. I want it to be peaceful and neat. I also want the lamp to be placed closer to my side of the bed so it can actually be used as a reading lamp for when I am reading in bed.

Resting Atop a New Chest of Drawers

We moved back into the ‘Caravan’ (aka our bedroom) last night. It feels weird sleeping on a bed again. The ‘Caravan’ is still pretty bare but not for long. Many pieces of furniture are waiting to be returned. There is now a brand new chest of drawers next to my bed. It is not made of ‘real wood’ and it is one of the cheapest at IKEA. I love it still anyhow.

The top of the chest of drawers is our Guinea Pig’s new resting place. I have put an old lamp desperately needing a new lampshade on it and most importantly, the Guinea Pig’s photo book and ‘ashes’ as well. It has now been 15 months since he left us. Once we get the ‘Pigeon Hole’ in order, we will get another photo of him enlarged and framed to be displayed here. It will replace the photo book because it is starting to wear. Maybe we should make a proper photo book (with hard covers) of the Guinea Pig. We recently walk past a camera shop (Ted’s) on Elizabeth Street displaying photos converted into different types of photo art. We didn’t have time to go into the shop to see if it can be easily done. I suppose we can save some $$$ by tweaking the Guinea Pig’s photos ourselves since we already have Photoshop Elements.

This next bit of the post is a sad news item. According to the media, Sam, the Koala rescued by a CFA volunteer during the horrible bushfires earlier this year had passed away yesterday (06/08/09). We learnt on Wednesday that she was riddled with Chlamydia and would have to undergo surgery. Both her Vet and Carer said on TV that 4 year old Sam may not survive the procedure. We found out from the 4:30 pm news yesterday that she didn’t make it. I am not sure if she passed away during surgery or had to be put down before/after the surgery. I hope that she didn’t suffer any more pain than the discomfort she was already in. I also wish that the people handling what happens to her now will do so properly. She had apparently recovered from the burns on her paws but was not ready to be released into the wild after they found out about the Chlamydia. So maybe if there is such a thing as a heaven for animals, Sam might be one of its latest members. She could be relaxing on a gumtree and munching on a never ending supply of gum leaves, free of pain and misery right at this moment.

Feeling Mean Sometimes

No, this post has nothing to do with regret over what I said about M earlier this month. This post is about my Guinea Pig. By the end of the 3rd quarter of the Carlton/Collingwood match on Friday, I was pretty sure that the chances were slim for Carlton to make a major comeback. My mind wandered off when I laid eyes on the beautiful picture of our Guinea Pig. I feel like a mean pet-keeper every now and then because I think that my decision to keep him was a selfish one. From the day we bought him in 2003, he became our friend and for years I thought he would be content to just have us because we showered him with so much love. I sometimes wonder where his siblings/cage mates are now. Did they have a good life? Are any of them still around? I also wonder if our Guinea Pig missed the companionship of another cavy friend and whether we had ruined him for not buying another one. I only learned the importance of keeping at least a pair when our Guinea Pig was a little older. By then, we were told that an older male Guinea Pig may not accept another same-sex companion. I also read somewhere that it was OK to keep a single Guinea Pig provided that we showered it with heaps of attention and care. That’s exactly what we did with our little friend. He was literally smothered with LOVE. Even so, that still didn’t stop me from wondering if we have been mean to him.

My Guinea Pig popped up in my dream again recently. In the dream, M and I had separated. He had moved into a flat and for some reasons, I was visiting his place one afternoon. As I approached his building, I noticed an American style letter box next to a block of identical letter boxes. The metal flag on the American style letter box was up, indicating that it has mail. I was curious to check out this all so American object. When I got the letter box door open, out came my Guinea Pig! Well, I think he was my Guinea Pig except that his colour markings were slightly different. I was somewhat annoyed that M had decided to keep him in a letter box. LOL.

14 Months On Already

We are still in the middle of de-cluttering the ‘Cave’. Because there is still a lot to do, I have very little time to blog. The Pigeon Hole is still a complete mess. Our current situation is quite overwhelming at times.

On Sunday, before M went to a family get together, we visited the Bunnings Warehouse in Port Melbourne. That’s the nearest branch to our home. We didn’t know that it existed until around late last year. After all of the de-cluttering, M and I are looking to give the bedrooms a fresh lick of paint. We are also looking to change the door knobs of our bedroom and bathroom. So, we went to Bunnings to get some ideas. It was a bit of a break from all the sorting and packing. M and I love the large garden centre. M saw this sublime plant in a pot and fell in love with it but because we won’t be dealing with the state of our balcony until we have completed the projects inside the pigeon hole, I refused to let him buy it. We may eventually buy one because there is a particular dish that uses lime that M and I really like. Limes can be quite pricey in Australia. I will blog about our plans for the balcony later. Let’s just say that I have been pretty inspired by some of the blogs I have been reading in the last year.

At the garden centre, I also saw other things that I would definitely buy right away if my Guinea Pig was still around. It doesn’t matter that our Guinea Pig had left us 14 months ago. His comfort and happiness is still very much important to us (me, in particular) today. We have always wanted to put a piece of rock in his cage to help wear down his claws. When our Guinea Pig was little, we used to take him to the vet to have his claws trimmed. Later, M bought a pair of special scissors to do the trimming ourselves. It was never easy because our Guinea Pig used to move around and I used to get really distressed, worrying that M might accidentally injure him. It did happen once and our Guinea Pig yelped and bled a little. I nearly fainted on the spot. Anyway, we saw a pile of marble off-cuts; each one the size of a small child’s head. How I wish to have bought one for our Guinea Pig. The marble pieces were $8.95 each. There were also bricks and square pavers that would do the job as well. I used to think that people must buy things like these in bulk because who would buy just one brick?

In the 60 Minutes episode that night, there was a segment on animals helping autistic children to calm down. It was very interesting. Even though there is still a lack of scientific evidence supporting this idea, I totally subscribe to it. It was so true when someone in the show said that people lie, animals don’t. An expert explained that interaction with animals is easier because they have far fewer facial expressions than humans. I totally second that too. Humans can be totally weird. They may seem totally warm and friendly for a while and then transform into something else without disclosing their reasons. That is just so annoying. I really wish to stay here and keep blogging but I have to get back to sorting out what to keep. There is something happening on a street nearby and I can’t wait to blog about it.

Grrr… Don’t you just hate it when posts are loading up too slow? I had wanted this post to be dated 7th of July but because things were so slow, I ended up being minutes late!

I Guess I am Really Moving On

Today is the 7th of June. In the past year, I have always written a post that has something to do with my Guinea Pig on the 7th of each month. It was like a mourning process. Today, I didn’t even think about the date until just now! I guess that I am ready to move on but that doesn’t mean that I will simply forget about our little friend who played an important part of my/our life/lives for nearly 5 years. We still speak of him every day.

I watched half an episode of Martha last Monday and in it I saw a little sea otter by the name of Gracie getting fed by her keeper. Gracie was floating around on her back and was using her chest as a little table top. When she was handed a bit of crab, she went over to the side of the rock pool and proceeded to bash the crab’s claw against the rocks to crack it open to retrieve the meat inside. Who says little animals are not inventive? That sea otter was using a tool. We humans are not the only ones using tools in our daily lives. If I had a lot to type on the computer, my Guinea Pig used to join me in making a similar tapping sound by playing with the marble stopper inside his water bottle. He would do it and then turn to look at me. LOL. We humans have a tendency to not just underestimate little humans but animals all the time.

Doing the Stretchies

Early on Thursday (14/05) morning, I dreamt about my little Guinea Pig again. It has been some time since I last dreamt about him. In the dream, M was talking to someone on the phone in the bedroom regarding a need to postpone our plans to relocate overseas. I stepped out into the hallway to see that there was something moving inside the Guinea Pig’s cage. I looked in to find my Guinea Pig in there. He was very lively. In fact he looked like a very real, digitally animated version of himself. He was playing with the hay in the corner furthest from me. When he saw me, he decided to show off his new ‘yoga’ skills. LOL. It was hilarious! He balanced himself with his front paws to lift his little bottom in mid-air. Holding on to that pose, he turned to look at me before shaking his bottom (still in mid-air) from side to side. He was smiling! I was amused but I was also thinking and asking, “What are you doing here? I thought you were gone. Oh no, how are we going to move overseas? Are you back for good? Are you fit enough to travel on the plane this time?” He continued to do a few more stretches and then I woke up realising that it was just a dream. I was glad that he popped in for a visit.

Happy Birthday to Me

It’s my birthday today. I started the day telling M what we did on this very day 6 years ago. We went to a pet shop far away to buy our Guinea Pig. I was happily going through all the details when M decided to interrupt by reminding me of the incident when I pinched my Guinea Pig’s fur a few years ago. I did it as a way to move him away from sitting on his own puddle of wee and I totally regret doing it. The incident taught me that corporal punishment is also ineffective on little animals.

When I finally emerged from the bedroom, M was already in the middle of his breakfast and watching the news. As always, I asked if something disastrous happened while we slept. I really shouldn’t have asked. M turned on the Sky News Active for me to read the headlines. As always, I started by reading the last headline listed on the first page because the top story was too hot to handle but M was too eager to make sure that I got it. Aside from highlighting the first headline, he announced that Bud Tingwell was dead. I read the headline a few times before accepting the fact that one of my favourite older actors had gone to heaven. It was beginning to feel like M was trying to sabotage my day.

We had to pay some bills on Elizabeth Street so I suggested that we get into the CBD via Southgate. I normally do not like going via this way but it just made more sense to do it this way today. As we crossed the busy intersection (corner of Elizabeth and Flinders) right after we emerged from the Flinders Street Station Underpass, something lying flat on the road caught my eye. It was black and white. When I glanced at it again, I saw white fur moving in the breeze. I knew immediately that it was a small mammal and told Moosh not to look. Every time I asked him not to look at something (e.g. puke), he would look and then complain about it. We were both very angry with what we saw. We think the animal was someone’s pet. It was probably a Guinea Pig, a small rabbit or even a puppy. When I reached Flinders Lane, I felt like going back to pick it up but M didn’t think that was a good idea. As I ate my lunch, I wondered how many cars went over it. Since I do not know what exactly happened, I have no right to judge the human/s involved in this but I am certainly not happy with irresponsible pet owners.

After lunch, we went looking for a new headphone for the iPod. I like the ones with silicone cushions that go into the ears so I do not disrupt anyone who happens to be close to me when I listen to the iPod. Frugal me is only willing to spend around $50 but most of them are priced around $70. My favourite (BOSE) is $149! So, this mission failed.

Once we finished paying the bills, we were ready to go somewhere I picked especially for my birthday. You won’t believe what a stupid destination I had picked. No, it’s not the museum. No, it’s not another shopping centre and no, it’s not the state library. LOL. I told M yesterday that I wanted to go to Baillieu Library (Melbourne Uni) to check out a phonics kit. How unromantic? LOL. It’s been a while since we visited the Uni and we got quite lost. When we eventually found the library, we searched the catalogue to find the kit and manual that I had wanted to take a peek at were gone! Had they been in, they were usually kept at the Education Resource Centre. We did go to the ERC. It has been renamed the Eastern Resource Centre. It wasn’t a good idea to visit the Uni at all. I came away feeling really old.

We are home now. The dinner lady is not working tonight. M volunteered to cook dinner – Spaghetti Bolognaise. I am more than a little nervous about that. He has already cleaned one load of dishes. The man is trying to be nice after buying those DVDs behind my back. I am just going to put my feet up and watch an episode of Law and Order but it won’t be easy.

It Has Been a Year

After doing a bit of sewing on Tuesday, I had to pack and tidy up because I won’t be sewing again for a few days and didn’t wish to leave my desk in a mess. I made sure that I ironed the pouch I made the other day before I packed away the iron and ironing board. It had been washed and looked wrinkled. Strangely I was fine then but half an hour or so later, I was sobbing in the bedroom. I have not cried for my Guinea Pig since February but now that the year is up since he passed away, things are becoming a little unbearable again.

My Guinea Pig died on the 7th of May 2008. It was a Wednesday. This year, the 7th of May falls on a Thursday. It was great that M was home yesterday. Having him around was truly appreciated.

I don’t really want to blog about my Guinea Pig’s final hours. It cuts to the quick just remembering how he struggled and how stupid I was not knowing what to do other than promising him that we would take him to the Vet in the morning. I just want to remember him as a dear friend.

Someone like me does not make friends easily. It’s a wonder why M hung around. Most humans would find knowing someone like me requires too much effort on their part. Friendship with a pet is much easier, more predictable. There is no need to have to constantly figure out if I missed something. It’s just less complex because most humans are super good at beating around the bush. My Guinea Pig accepted me pretty much from day one. He never judged me. He was his friendly self most of the time. Sure he had his moody moments but this only happened if he was annoyed by loud neighbours monkeying around outside our apartment or if he heard the clanging of keys. Despite being a small mammal, he was capable of growling and it sounded like those little growlers inside traditional Teddy Bears. (Brrr…) My Guinea Pig also trusted me. In the Summer, we keep him clean and cool by giving him baths. After he had been given a ‘blow-wave’, he would come snuggling up to my foot or M’s foot before wandering off to re-discover the bathroom. I would react by squealing while wondering why he would want to snuggle up to someone like me at the same time. I really missed how he used to greet us with much fanfare when we came home from work or outing. He would squeak loudly long before we even reached our front door and as soon as we got in, we could hear him running around excitedly inside his cage. If I approached his cage first, he would climb up the sides to greet me up close but if M approached him first, he might play peek-a-boo by running in and out of his igloo or cave. Even if one of us was home, he would greet the other one with the same fanfare like he had missed him or I so much. On particularly happy days, he also added his version of the ‘Popcorn Dance’.

My Guinea Pig had two amazing abilities. Other Guinea Pigs might behave the same but I am not sure. 5:00 pm was Din-Din time. He was very punctual and only ever got confused whenever the clock was changed but he would soon be back to being punctual again after a few days of readjustment! He would start calling out for his food from 5:00pm but sometimes he didn’t get fed till later because no one was home or if someone was hiding from him because of pure laziness. If someone was home, he would squeak until he got his needs met. LOL. The other ability had something to do with what might have been his dream to be a guard dog. From the comfort of his cage, he was able to predict that the person or people outside the front door was/were neither of us. If it was us, he would greet as mentioned before. If it was someone else, he was more than likely to growl at them. Neighbours from a specific apartment got growled at a lot. LOL.

I sobbed for a good half an hour or so in the bedroom on Tuesday. I had a shower before returning to the bed to wallow some more. Sensing that I was about to start crying again, I dragged myself to the living room and turned on the TV to find that I had missed the first half of a documentary about the lion named Christian. Of course I cried some more as I watched the scenes of the guys’ reunion with the gorgeous lion. I am not very religious but if there is such a thing as a heaven, do you think my Guinea Pig would recognise me when I go look for him someday?

Completed Finally

Way back in June last year I blogged about making a pouch. I remember promising to blog about it once it was completed. Well, after nearly a year, I have finally completed the project. It took me a few hours to put it all together. I originally planned to make the pouch from scratch by creating the pattern myself, but that didn’t eventuate because I ended up buying some patterns during a sale and one pattern featured this pouch.

The pouch is made to hold my Guinea Pig’s urn and because of that M and I wanted fabrics featuring a theme that is relevant to our charismatic pet. We had wanted a fabric with a vegetable patch print or one with prints of cucumbers or parsley. We looked everywhere and found this carrot one. Our Guinea Pig loved carrots too. After we found the carrot fabric, we had difficulty finding a second fabric. We even had difficulty deciding what colour to buy for the ribbons and once we had settled for green, we were unable to find any grosgrain ribbon in that colour.

The project was on and off for a while until my world came crashing down for a second time in late July when I found out what could have happened to my Guinea Pig’s cremation. That was when it was put on hold indefinitely because I was too distressed to want to spend hours making something for a little friend who may or may not be inside the urn. Things have been finally returning to normal in the last month or two. While I am yet to be totally convinced that he is indeed inside the urn, I felt like I was ready to attempt this project again. So I spent a good few hours making the pouch yesterday. It was fun.

M was happy to see the product when he came home from work. Apparently the first thought that came into his head was: “Cool! She has finally got off her bum and made something beautiful.” Sewing is fun. Now that I have completed this pouch, I am feeling confident again and am ready to start working on the patterns I bought last week.

11 Months On & the Colder Days Are Fast Approaching

Today marks 11 months since our Guinea Pig left. That’s nearly a year ago! I remember wondering how I was going to get through Winter last year. And when I saw on TV what the company that handled my Guinea Pig’s cremation did to some pets just days before the Olympics (an event I was privately looking forward to), I thought my world had collapsed. The dark wintry days didn’t help one bit either. Winter used to be my favourite season because where I grew up; it was hot all year round. But since 2006, Winter has been pretty sad for some reason or another. I get teary and feel like a complete failure more than ever. Last year was particularly tough because I missed our Guinea Pig. Luckily Spring came and things became gradually bearable. Last month went quickly though. I was preoccupied with my dad’s surgery, so stressed out that I didn’t even dream of my Guinea Pig! LOL.

The night time temperature is certainly plummeting. I found myself digging for my Winter pyjamas on Sunday night. When I went to buy some groceries yesterday (because we didn’t do a good job last Friday), I had to wear an undershirt under my T-shirt and on the way home, I had to put a polar fleece jacket on. So is it time to switch the Doonas over? I am just not sure. It was warmish last week and coolish the week before that but this week so far seems a lot cooler. After years of living in Australia, I am still not quite sure what’s coming and what’s going in terms of Melbourne’s weather. The cool blast in Autumn could be just like the warm surprise in Spring. It’s like a mini experience to prepare everyone for what is likely to come in the next season.

The thought of Winter reminds me of something I have been wanting to get. No, it’s not a whole new Winter wardrobe but I did see a few pieces (BOSS Orange) at a fashion show (free event) that I really, really want. Living a frugal life can be very boring sometimes and living so close to the city, I am also constantly blasted with all sorts of temptations almost on a daily basis. I will spend the next few days deciding if I should get this item for Winter and if I do, I will blog about it. It’s not something pricey but it does have a higher price tag than other similar items in that shop. LOL.

Guinea Pig Remembered

I always write a piece about my Guinea Pig on the 7th of each month and today marks 10 months since he left us. An ‘earthquake’ shook Melbourne CBD last night. It measured 4.6 on the Richter scale. I was on the couch and felt a bump first. I called out to M but he didn’t seem bothered by it at all. Then I felt like the couch lifted me to the right before returning to its original position. That’s when we panicked a little. We ran out to the balcony to see if anyone else is reacting to the shakes. A few households did but others continued to party on or stared at their plasmas. While others are happy to use the clouds as a doona if the sky falls on top of them, I reacted by packing my backpack. LOL. I put on my shoes (have you seen people caught up in an emergency with no shoes on?) and then pack our essentials into the backpack. Our Guinea Pig’s urn (supposedly containing its ashes) and photo book were packed first. There was even room for our mascot. LOL. The packed bag stayed by our bed overnight just in case we have to flee our pigeon hole. Since I am still here blogging away, it is obvious that nothing else happened after those two tremors. Thank goodness. This morning, one of our neighbours and the caretaker asked us to check and see if there are any leaks. I promptly check under the kitchen sink, the water heater, the laundry and the shower area to make sure that we are not getting another flood.

I spoke to my parents on the phone on Wednesday. I was upset and teary because I was worried about them. It is not easy to live so far away from them. My dad is booked into the hospital this Monday for 12 days of ‘observation’ before a knee replacement surgery on the 21st. They keep telling me not to worry but it breaks my heart for not being there physically. In a bid to try to cheer me up, my mum asked about the Guinea Pig. We never told my side of the family about my Guinea Pig’s passing. I didn’t think they would understand my affection for my little friend and I definitely didn’t want to ‘deal’ with their reaction and questions if I told them about my Guinea Pig’s supposedly ‘botched up’ cremation. Her question upset me even further. After I told her that he passed away nearly 10 months ago, she was shocked and asked what happened. I told her that I didn’t wish to talk about it and luckily she respected that. She did query as to why I thought she wouldn’t understand. I could tell that she soon realised that she hadn’t asked about our Guinea Pig for a while. I think the last time we talked about him was in April last year. Our Guinea Pig used to disrupt my phone conversations by joining in. He would squeak away from his cage probably thinking that I was talking to him when I was actually on the phone. LOL

Years of living away from home and years of adopting a new way of life in another country have brought a lot of changes into our lives. Of course we welcome and celebrate the good changes but I tend to bottle up all the negative ones. Gradually, there is an ever increasing amount of ‘stuff’ that my family do not know about me. Not expressing oneself / whingeing is probably why the suicide rate is climbing.

Before I start to cry for the rest of the day, I am off to wash dishes and clean the bathroom.

Still Having Trouble Sleeping

I experience sleeping difficulties almost every fortnight but I do not take medications for it. I was tossing and turning all night on Monday. I was already expecting the worse by the time I got myself ready for bed on Tuesday. The second night after a sleepless night is usually worse. I wasn’t just tossing and turning but I was also getting up every two hours or so. To make matters worse, I had different dreams each time I managed to fall asleep. Anyone experiencing my kind of dreams will know how exhausting some of them can be.

At 4:50ish on Wednesday morning I got up and sat on the bed trying to decide whether to go back to sleep or just stay up to read. I looked out of the window and saw a Taxi downstairs and a half drunken bloke staggering out. After going to the loo, I sat to look at the front cover of my Guinea Pig’s photo book. Seeing him is calming. I did try to read a book after that but found it hard to keep my eyes open for long and was fast asleep within minutes. This time though, I was accompanied by a wonderful dream starring none other than my beloved Guinea Pig, of course. M played a minor role as well.

Here I am again describing another dream featuring our dear friend. In the dream, I lowered the Guinea Pig’s cage to the floor and told M to let him out for a little run. The Guinea Pig had been pretty restless, running around in his cage. I attempted to pick him up and he ran away from me to hide under the hay. When I tried to pick him up again, I noticed another pair of eyes looking at me. This second Guinea Pig was smaller, looked scruffier and shared the same colours as my little friend. M saw the shock on my face and asked, “What? Have you forgotten that you insisted on buying another Guinea Pig last week?” I looked at him, suddenly remembering that I apparently bought a little Guinea Pig from a pet shop at Melbourne Central. LOL. Suddenly I could see that M was secretly wondering if I had been neglecting the newbie.

Seeing that I failed to pick either Guinea Pig up, M came over to help. He let them both run wild in the living room. (In reality, our dear little Guinea Pig played within a fenced up area.) Coincidentally, as mentioned in a previous dream, the balcony doors were left wide open. Soon we had trouble monitoring both of them because they didn’t stay together. M tried to pick up the newbie and it bit him on the finger and darted away. He was then seen running down the hallway, towards the spare room before we were briefly interrupted by a neighbour at the door asking for some foam to make artificial flowers. (Well, I think I did reveal recently that my dreams can be quite weird.) Meanwhile, our original Guinea Pig was already rummaging through all the junk in the spare room. As soon as the neighbour left, we took action to spoil the little cheeky piggies’ fun. The newbie was chewing the vacuum cleaner cord but M went for our Guinea Pig who was chewing on some paper first. After returning him to the cage, he came back for the newbie who had then found something else to chew in the almost inaccessible room. The dream ended when both piggies were safely returned to the cage.

That new piggy seemed quite a handful! Luckily we are not in a hurry to get ourselves another Guinea Pig. I am still trying to get over the loss of our first furry friend. We will definitely keep Guinea Pigs again one day but it will not happen until we get ourselves a property where pets can be lovingly buried upon their deaths. To us, pets are like family members. They are loved in life and should be treated with dignity when they pass away. Although I will never know if my beloved Guinea Pig’s ashes are really in the urn, I am content to see him popping up in my dreams from time to time.